Nightmare semester

Hope I will still be alive after this sememster

Past, Present, Future

I haven't touched my Tarot deck for years.

I used to write Tarot diary when I was in SA.

Things really change.

Few days ago I encountered a major problem in my life.

I tried alot ways figuring out what is wrong.

Unfortunately, I couldn't.

An idea just flashed in my mind: why don't I try the Tarot.

So I did, and that is the answer.

Three cards represents the past, the present and the future of my problem.

The meaning of the first card is quite pictorial (hey, I didn't cheat, it's really the card I randomly drew from the stuffled deck).

The second card did represent the present at that time.

I was judging the problem, and like the naked people waking from the coffins, things hiding in my problems were slowly digged out.

The last one, the future of the problem, seemingly a nice one, but it represented the choice I need to make at the times I was facing the problem.

Most of the Tarot websites or books suggest that "the Lover" card means you have to make a major choice which will affect the rest of your life.

And once you have made that choice, you life will never be the same again.

That's what I did today.

It's really a hard choice to make.

A very tough one.

I know it's very very hard for me as well for another person.

But I have to choose that way.

Things change.

My heart doesn't.

I'm sorry.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Don't mess up with Zohan.

I haven't watched a really comedy movie like this for quite long time.

Take my recommendation, and you won't regret hehe.

It made me laughing so hard,

hahahaha~~~~

血型漫画

（一）

（二）

This is Hell

As many of my dear classmates have pointed out that second year is so damn hard and some started refer HELP as HELL, which literally they are just one letter in difference.

This reminds me of my favourite talking show given by Rowan Atkinson, in which he played as the devil in Hell to give a “warm” welcome to newcomers.

This dramatic scene should be adapted by be HELP to give the second year students a whole new orientation.

Dr. Goh should be the host, of course, and he goes like one hand holding a cigarette and another hand holding the “Bible” – DSM-IV.

Then, Dr. Goh starts the speech with:

Hi, hello, it’s nice to see you all here.

As the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now.

This is HELL.

And I am the devil. Good afternoon.

You can call me Dr. Goh if you like.

...


Later in the Q&A session, it goes:

Are there any questions?

Yes.

No, I’m afraid we don’t have any breaks, urm if you read your Bible, you might have seen that it’s a damnation without relief.

Marital Counseling joke

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Only mirrors tell the time

熬过了冗长的期末，迎来了疯狂的假期。游戏玩的天昏地暗，小说读的不分昼夜。

因为不用上课，时间模糊了起来。只有镜中几日没刮的胡茬在提醒着自己日子慢慢的一天天的过去。

我想，这辈子我是弄不明白为什么女生那么喜欢照镜子，喜欢看着自己一天一天的老去。

人，总是跟自己过不去。像是过生日— 一方面找人来庆祝自己老了一岁，一方面跟人抱怨时间的不公。

想到这里，忍不住引用那句经典台词，Hypocrite, thy name is human.

贴首我很喜欢的歌，希望你也一样喜欢。

There are three kinds of people

The infamous quote from my favourite "Team America"

"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! "

My interpretation: we all played one of the three roles once a while in our lives. Sometimes, you are too nice that people take advantages of you all the times. Then you become tougher and tougher. As time passing by, you are hard enough to poke others to get what you want. And somewhere in between those two phrases, you get so pissed off by others that you just want to shit everyone.

Sadly, I played a dick this earlier night, although I didn't mean to.

I'm sorry.

又一年

转眼一年。

人生，就在这一次次的转眼间流逝了。

一路上左顾又盼，期待着更好的前景。

却不知，等找到了，也结束了。

留下的，是对匆忙的无比惆怅。

在这一次的转眼间，我来马来西亚已经整整一年。

这一年不同于任何一年，它很精彩，也很无奈。
这一年也如同任何一年，它很兴奋，也很迷茫。

一年前我满怀希望，一年后我同样满怀希望。
一年前我充满激情，一年后我只剩颓然。

在寂寞中狂欢，在孤独中奋发，是我这一年的真实写照。

Friendship between sexes

Relationship with an opposite sex can be very tricky and even challenging sometimes. It is very hard to control the precise distance between you and this friend. Shouldn’t be too close, especially for a female to a male, for it has long been said that most males are very easily misled, taking minute signs and clues as suggestive signals. A female’s hospitality and kindness may wrongfully, and unfortunately, be taken as romantic cues, or even propositions. True, it is very sad to a female whose friendliness is mistaken as some sort of suggestions. But it is even sadder for a male to find out in the end that the euphoria is just an illusory dream.

Ok, then, let’s just keep distance from them to avoid this kind of unnecessary misunderstanding. But then, you might have even greater chance to become a real bitch (even if you are a guy) – who seems to perceive any opposite sex as a potential threat. This kind of person avoid to display any warmth towards those who are not “sexually desired” so to speak, to ensure no misunderstanding would ever happen. This kind of people is really pathetic and annoying – they reject any kindness from a sexually undesired person. But, hey, not everyone being kind to you wants to sleep with you, ok? You are strangling the goodness of others.

Thus you see how difficult this dilemma is: You are a heartbreaker if you are too friendly and you are a bitch if you are not friendly. And sometimes you swing between these two roles until you totally screw up all the relationship with others.

So what we should do?

Be careful with those who are only nice when they want to sleep with you. Be kind to those who are truly kind to you. Be intelligent to discern between them.

Weird Nightmare

I had this super-duper weird nightmare today.

In that dream, I was calling my neighbour (a girl) through a television (weird, right?).

Then through the TV I saw a man (her dad?) was being attacked by a zombie whose head had a scissors in it.

then the girl screamed super loud which turned his dad into a monster.

and then I saw the girl herself transformed into an afro-haired monsterlike ghost.

And she was about to crawl out of the TV!!!

then I wanted to scream but couldn't, and wanted to move, but couldn't either.

I was so struggling.

Then, thank god, I woke up....

with whole body aching...

Damn...

Imaginary conversation

Hi, you look pretty today.

Thanks.

You want some ice cream?

No. I’m not supposed to eat cold things these days.

Oh? What happened? You are not feeling alright?

…ask your mum.

My mum? Wait a second. What does my mum have anything to do with your discomfort?

Oh, for Christ sake, are you kidding me or something?

Hey, what’s happening?!

My period is coming! You idiot, that’s what happening!

Alright, alright, chill, ok? But still what’s your period have anything to do with my mum?

AAARRRRRRR. Your mum never told you females can’t eat anything cold during their period!?

Errr… I guess nope.

Well, now you’ve learnt that precious lesson!

Ok, ok. Urm, is there anything I can do to help it?

Help what? Help prevent me from having period?

Nope, help you get more comfortable while you are having period. But I suppose I can also help you what you suggested.

Oh really? That’s so thoughtful of you!

You know they say period is the lonely tears of the womb.

So what do you suggest? Let’s have sex and impregnate my womb so that it won’t weep?

And you can eat ice creams anytime you want.

Jesus Christ, will you stop it!

Alright, alright.

A Hero Comes Home

click me

Today, I stood on the roof of my house and announced proudly: I finally finished all the fishing exams.

I have slaughtered all the subjects and returned from the brutal battlefield of Wisma HELP with victory.

Although no party, no champagne, no chicks is awaiting me for celebration, I have all that I need: chips, whisky and coke.

Today, let's celebrate for surviving the one-month-long torture.

We all did excellent jobs; it's just that some lecturers really suck.

Let's hope that we shall never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever never ever take ADP subjects again.

and today, may I rest in peace, Amen.

No mood for study

Finals are not torment.

The pre-fianl period is.

Unfortunate enough, we have been suffering since the beginning of this month.

It has become my daily routine:

Get up, wash up, sit up, then a fierce battle starts in my mind -- should I read the textbook now or play Spider poker for a while?

And no matter who wins, I always lose, for whatever I do, the alternative activity is lingering in my mind.

So i'm constantly in swifting my activity like a really ADHD child.

Damn, just can't help it.

And this study break has messed up everything, including my eating pattern.

I've had KFC as dinner for the last two weeks, and you know what, I even dreamt eating KFC last night!!!

That sucks my ass!

Ok, I've complaint enough. Here's something for your amusement, don't miss it.

一个人的狂欢

混一杯威士忌
放一颗干话梅
把贝司开到最大声
让整个房间随之而震动
沉浸在吵闹的舞曲中
让思绪沉淀下来

随着喧嚣的音乐而沸腾
为寂寞的身影而干杯
这是属于我的夜晚
这是属于我的狂欢

夜，雨

半夜莫名的惊醒，以为又收到什么心电感应了。

结果只是正常的惊醒。

重新睡下。

半梦半醒间又被惊醒，有只蟑螂爬到我床上了！

跑出去拿了杀虫剂干掉它。

估计它也为了躲雨才进到我屋里，但爬我床上就实在不应该了。

怎么可以乱上人家的床呢？特别是我正做一半的美梦就被打破了。

虽然，那时心中还有半丝美梦留下的甜美，可睡意全无。

于是，索性把床单洗了。

给屋子里也简单打扫了一遍。

确认旮旯里没有其它的“不速之客”会再扰我美梦。

忙完了才后悔，应该把刚才的美梦做到底。

不过，也许做完梦再醒，就不会记得自己做过什么样的梦了吧。

只有在梦中被惊醒才知道自己是在做梦。

人生又何尝不是如此呢？

Everyone has his period

Today is my day.

I got up earlier.

Prepared for the exam better, though in shorter time comapre with biopsych.

Even the taxi was awaiting me to school.

And the exam was quite stressful (that's for sure), yet smooth.

Finished everything in time without getting headache for any question.

the only thing is that I feel extremely sleepy but unable to sleep.

But anyway, life goes on, forever does it.

OMG…I’m a lesbian, too!

Seriously!!! I just discovered that after reading this:

An old cowboy sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little later a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Another raining day

Worry and hope are twins.

They come together, work together.

Once you hope for something, you start worrying about it.

Will it come true?

And ever since, this hope became your fear.

Can you afford if the hope never comes true?

If you can’t, your hope will then become your desperation.

Hope and desperation are not always antonyms, they are more often synonyms.

Desperation follows hope, like shadows.

The lighter, the darker shadows may be, and the stronger the hope people hold, the more desperate they become in the end.

Sad enough though, people cannot live without hope.

Therefore, here come desperation, stress, pressure and all the negative feelings related to the charming word – hope.

Hopefully (ha, this word sounds so ironic here), besides everything else, we got alcohol.

The miracle of alcohol is that it makes you forget.

Forget your hopes, even only for a short while, so that we can move on, dream on, and continues to hope on.

OK, I know I’ve been too pessimistic and cynical.

So let’s just hope that everyone’s hope will finally come true.

Cheers.

经典重温

点击 --> 黑豹 -- 靠近我


歌词：

眼中含着眼泪
歉诚的后悔
镜中好忧郁的我
像是真的犯了错

我也不愿去体会
那种苦涩滋味
又有谁能告诉我
该怎样去做

时常感到疲惫
辛酸和劳累
镜中变消瘦的我
忍受不平的折磨

不愿去过平常的生活
放弃一切才是我的错
何时得到轻松和快乐
何时驱散身边的寂寞

靠近我靠近我理解我

White day

Biopsy exam was really beyond both my imagination and expectation.

It's like Dr. Hera purposely put questions she knew we wouldn't be able to answer.

Lots of questions were just not relevant to what we have learnt.

Especially she said several times, only MCQs and Labelling, then why the hell she gave us the fill-in-blank questions at the end?

Or maybe it's just not my day.

My hair clip broke just before I go to school (I know it sound so gay).
Damn....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the exam, I went to 1U to relax a little bit and, most importantly, to buy some alcohol.

I felt a lot better after eating two Rotiboy in the hallway, though accompanied by staring from strange passengers.

"What? Never saw a long hair guy eating Rotiboy in public?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I discovered a marvelous whiskey at the alcohol corner in Giant.

I am very fond of Black Label, but the price is really crazy in Malaysia.

Fortunately, I found one more interesting and affordable.

Tah tah~ Behold, the little brother of Black Label -- the White Label!




Now I finally understand why they translated Black Label as 黑方 not 黑带 in Chinese.

lol~~~~~~~~~~~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, social psy exam and other two elective exams are awaiting.

Still a long way to go before rest....

Hangover sucks

I’m feeling dizzy, murky, and a little bit nauseous.

Exactly the symptoms of hangover.

I was defeated by one can of Carlsberg Special Brew last night.

I knew it’s stronger than normal beer (that’s why it’s called Special Brew).

How come I was taken down by only one can and have this prolonged hangover?

That’s really odd, though a good way to cut the cost of being drunk since alcohol in Malaysia is damn damn damn damn expensive.



Maybe it’s the mood congruence effects.

Forgotten memories flashed back to me last night.

I saw many beautiful faces going through my eyes.

I heard familiar voices lingering my ears.

Happy scenes conjoined with sad endings woven together like a broken woollen scarf stifling me.

I wondered how I had forgotten all these precious memories.

I wondered how my life is so distanced from what I used to have.

I thought I escaped the mental prison I once built for myself.

I didn’t, it’s just that the prison became larger and I was deluded that I was no longer in it.

Delusion works, only before you realise that it's delusion.

Give a bottle of Black Label and I’ll sleep with you

I hate being sober.

One has to deal with every single detail of his life when he’s sober.

And one would be too clear about his past, present, and perhaps predictable future.

You strive so hard to get rid of the unpleasant memories you got, of the trivial matters occupied most of your time, and of the constant worries about the future.

But in most of the cases, you just can’t.

You can’t forget about your past, ignore your present or disregard your future.

A situation so sad and awkward – you can’t control your thoughts, your feelings or your mind.

Ironically, they dominate you. They induce whatever they like to you.

Your consciousness is completely a joke. It monitors you to make sure that you feel the pain you suffer, the twisting in your heart when it breaks, the twirling in your brain when you want something so badly but have to realise the impossibilities in reality.

Yes, I know, on the other hand, we feel all the joys through our consciousness as well.

But look how pathetic we are – constantly hunted by the fear of being unhappy, we actually became the part of our unhappiness.

We try all the means to avoid being miserable but ignore the fact that we are our misery.

How can one ever get rid of oneself?

Never ever.

You know how donkeys are fooled to mill?

Yes, according to the prototype of our misery.

We hang the imaginary happiness in front of our eyes, and assume that one day we’ll catch it.

Yes, exactly like what the donkeys think.

But the fact is they’ll never get the carrot and you’ll never get happiness.

Never ever.

We are all alone

Jeff Buckley is raucously yelling the song “Hallelujah” from the speakers.
The cats are shouting signals to their mates for some recreational activities.

And I am here up straight at 4am in the morning with a murky mind.
Can’t focus on anything, the thoughts are driving me crazy.

Loneliness is really inevitable in life.

No matter where you are, who you are, what you do, you just feel lonely once a while.

I thought I could escape my previous lonely life by coming to Malaysia, a friendlier place in terms of culture and environment comparing with South Africa.

It’s not the case.

“No man is an island onto himself”

But human are generally lonely animals.

We are so lonely that we need to live in a society wherein people can watch and torture each other.

Yes, of course sometimes we love each other.

The question is how often is “sometimes”?

Maybe we love each other just because we have suffered too much separation and desperation?
Do you really truly love someone? Or your so-called “lover” is just an object to help you escape from your isolation?

As Chris Rock puts it “you’ll never get a soul mate, never. If you lucky enough, all you got is a mate”

Heart-breaking Season

According to some astrology signs, from now on till the end of April is the heart breaking season (transit Venus falls in Aries and transit Mars debilitates in Caner, if you're interested).

Be prepared for intense quarrels with your close friends or even your boy/girl friend.

April sucks, anyway.

Even A person like me love sleeping so much can’t enjoy it in April.

The world seems to collapse and things run out of control.

Ideas and plans just don’t go to desired direction.

April, the heart-breaking April.

Whatever you call it

Light up a cigarette
Listen to soft old songs

Drink some coffee
Dream of impossible dreams

The music makes me blue
The dreams make me wonder

Only if I am not sober
Only if the feeling would linger

Close my eyes
Cease my thoughts

Wait for a thrill
Wish it would be real

Another Love Story

Please leave some comments, even if not compliments, thanks.

(Alice and Allen are queuing for the tickets of Die Hard 4 in a cinema).

Alice: How do you think of this movie?

Allen: Urm…I guess it will be a typical action movie with special explosion effects. You know, Bruce Willis is a personality actor. He always tries to be the same kind of character in whatever the movie is about. From the first to the third Die Hard, even this one I bet, he’s always a bold, impulsive and righteous guy with his disfigured intimidating body.

Alice: (slightly frowning) Disfigured intimidating body???

Allen: Yes, do you know anyone whose arms are thicker than his legs? No, because those are freaks and should be under custody of a freak institution where all the freaks are kept together.

Alice: (slightly smiling) Are you jealous or something?? It’s nonsense, most of the girls like his body, and even some guys I guess.

Allen: You mean GAYS right? Ya, of course gays like Bruce, because he is gay. Remember the Sixth Sense? What kind of a man would follow a ten-year old boy all over the place, except a gay child-molester?

Alice: (still slightly smiling) Are you drunk or something? Or the food you ate is too dry that you’re having constipation? Why are you so mean to him? Gosh~

Allen: (slightly leaning backwards) You are cursing me of having constipation. Now who is really mean?

Alice: (frowning, look at Allen’s eyes) you want to have a fight in our first date??

Allen: (look downwards) Of course not, I didn’t mean that, I’m just , just….urrrmm….( puts his right index finger between his lips as if he is very anxious about something).

(After a short while)

Allen: (suddenly looks at Alice’s eyes) Close your eyes.

Alice: (confused) What????

Allen: Come on~, do it.

(Alice ponders a little, then closes her eyes)

(as soon as Alice closed her eyes, Allen kissed her)

Allen: (relieved) Hu~….Now it’s a lot better.

Alice: (confused) Can you tell me what’s going on here?

Allen: (sniggering) It’s me, I was too anxious about our first date. You know, when should I hold your hand, when should I let you snuggle to me, and most importantly, when should I kiss you? All those questions kept popping out in my head, that’s why I talked those rubbish, as to redirect my attentions. Anyway, since we have already kissed, either of us should worry that anymore. Let’s go to watch the wonderful Die Hard four!

(After the movie, Alice and Allen are walking along the hallway)

Alice: That’s a good movie, isn’t?

Allen: I suppose so, except that Bruce just doesn’t die. It’s really worth the title “Die Hard”

Alice: What wrong with that? He’s the main character. He’s not supposed to die.

Allen: (in a sneering tone) what’s wrong with that???? I tell you what’s wrong, it’s bloody phoney. What kind of movie has a truck shooting down an F-22? I thought I was watching the Matrix when I saw that trash.

Alice: (stops walking, look at Allen) oh not again~ Allen, will you stop being so hostile at everything? If you want a kiss, you can say that directly.

Allen: Ya, I had the idea of kissing you at the time if Bruce ever died. It’d be a damn good memorable scenario. But this son of a….., just doesn’t die. In fact, I tried really hard to keep myself from the thought of strangling him to death.

Alice: (smiling) Ok, Ok. Now close your eyes.

(Allen closes his eyes, slightly pouts his lips, anticipating Alice’s kiss)

Alice: (Instead of kissing him, Alice hugs Allen gently and whispers softly) any better now?

Allen: (still closing his eyes) hu~ you know, I started to like Bruce Willis Now. He’s such a nice person.

Alice: (softly, flirting tone) So, your place tonight?

Allen: (super surprised and excited, holds Alice's arms and looks at her eyes) ah!!!!!? You didn’t mean it!!!!

Alice: (giggling) ya, you are right, I was joking hehe~, I need to prepare for my finals tonight, remember?

Allen: God damn it!!! I fucking hate finals!!!

The End

Hilarious song by Weird Al

Don't Download This Song
by Al Yankovic

Lyrics:

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge
To break international copyright law
By downloading MP3s from file-sharing sites
Like Morpheus or Grokster or Limewire or KaZaA

But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
'Cause you start out stealing songs and then you're robbing liquor stores
And sellin' crack and runnin' over school kids with your car

So don't download this song
The record store's where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A
They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R
It doesn't matter if you're a grandma or a seven year old girl
They'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are

So don't download this song
Don't go pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Don't take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Hum-Vee
And diamond-studded swimming pools
These things don't grow on trees
So all I ask is, "Everybody, please..."

Don't donwload this song (Don't do it, no, no)
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's wrong (You can just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You really should)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't donwload this song (Oh please, don't you do it)
Or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (Right now) like you know that you should (Go out and buy it)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't download this song (No, no, no, no, no, no)
You'll burn in hell before too long (and you'll deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard)
Oh, don't download this song

Old funny flash

Warning: Enjoy it , but don't laugh yourself to death

思酒浇愁

清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂。借问酒家何处有？牧童遥指杏花村。

虽然杜牧的这首诗最常被引用的只是前面两句，但我觉得后面两句才是重点。

对于我们这些只身在外的人来讲，清明是个喝酒的好时机。

把乡愁，忧愁，思愁 通通都喝掉。

可惜马来西亚的酒贵的离谱，醉一次的成本比High一次的成本还要高出许多。

再加上每况愈下的胃，我这个穷学生在这里也只能思酒浇愁了。

Fun stuff

My classmate Reuben passed me this website

http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/units/addiction/drugs/mouse.cfm

It's pretty cool and educational.

Explains how drugs affect our brain from a neurological perspective.

The illustration is pretty clear and funny.

For my Bio Psych classmates, you'll be much clearer after watching it if you are confused by Dr.Hera's lecture and the textbook like I was.

A love story

(At one Starbucks, a male and a female are sitting opposite beside a small round table. Judge from the coffee left in their cups, they have been sitting there for at least 15 minutes)
A: Do you have a crush on somebody? You act weird these days.
B: (looking around, mindless) I guess so.
A: (eagerly) who is it?
B: (look at A) why do you want to know?
A: (slightly frowning) we are friends, although not for long but I consider you as one of my best friends already. Tell me, and I will feel happy for you…
B: (a short pause) you really want to know?
A: (firmly) Yes
B: (look at A for a long while, as if to make a decision) Ok, look at me, straight at my eyes. Tell me again that you really want to know it.
A: (look very firmly directly at B’s eyes, and slowly steadily says) I really want to know, please tell me.
B: (look back A’s eyes without blinks) It is you.
A: (smiling gently) Hehe, I know because I have the same feeling too….
B: (surprised, happy tone) Why didn’t you tell me???
A: (keep smiling) Because I was afraid as the same as you were…
B: (rising the eye brow) Not any more?
A: (slowly approaching B) Not any more.
A kisses B very gently.

Either A or B can be the male....

Vicky Leandros L'amor Est Bleu (Love Is Blue)

Can't help listening to it over and over again...

I guess my world is pretty blue right now....

Lyrics:
Blue, blue, my world is blue
Blue is my world now I'm without you
Gray, gray, my life is gray
Cold is my heart since you went away

Red, red, my eyes are red
Crying for you alone in my bed
Green, green, my jealous heart
I doubted you and now we're apart

When we met how the bright sun shone
Then love died, now the rainbow is gone

Black, black, the nights I've known
Longing for you so lost and alone

The return of the blogger

After abandoned this blog for more than half a year, i somehow decide to return to my blog.

Continueously daily renewing a blog is quite difficult for a person like me, because I don't have much to say about myself and my life which is pretty dull.

I can't say on my blog, "I have read two chapers of my text book, and had Pizza as my lunch today." That's not a blog, that's a bloody crap.

If you ever see me post something like that, strangle me immediately.
Yes, I do mean it, for I have a even lower tolerance of craps from myself.

The reason I want to return to my blog is that i found my life even duller reading those rubbish online news.

Hopefully, by posting blogs, I would spice up my life a little bit.

And in real life, i'm actually a very talktive person, like to make jokes and laughing a lot.
But I found it's scary to joke at myself when I am alone.

Sometimes, I would suddenly laugh out of blue, because of a funny thought.
And since there's no body to share with, I would explore on that thought to make it funnier and then I laugh harder.

The problem with this is that I sometimes feel I am schizophrenic.
Who would suddenly laugh out of nothing and even laugh harder after talking to himself?

And even scarier, I found the thought of being schizophrenia very schizophrenic.
It's like a schizophrenia loop -- the more Ithink I am schizophrenic the more schizophrenic I may be.

That's really scary. I haven't even learnt about schizophrenia in detail, how come I'm going to be one?

No, can't let that happen

So, I decide to talk to my blog instead of just myself.

At least, I may get some feedbacks althgout comments are rarely left.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I really found myself schizophrinic.

Shouldn't write a blog at the midnight, it's bloody scary~.