血型漫画

（一）

（二）

This is Hell

As many of my dear classmates have pointed out that second year is so damn hard and some started refer HELP as HELL, which literally they are just one letter in difference.

This reminds me of my favourite talking show given by Rowan Atkinson, in which he played as the devil in Hell to give a “warm” welcome to newcomers.

This dramatic scene should be adapted by be HELP to give the second year students a whole new orientation.

Dr. Goh should be the host, of course, and he goes like one hand holding a cigarette and another hand holding the “Bible” – DSM-IV.

Then, Dr. Goh starts the speech with:

Hi, hello, it’s nice to see you all here.

As the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now.

This is HELL.

And I am the devil. Good afternoon.

You can call me Dr. Goh if you like.

...


Later in the Q&A session, it goes:

Are there any questions?

Yes.

No, I’m afraid we don’t have any breaks, urm if you read your Bible, you might have seen that it’s a damnation without relief.

Marital Counseling joke

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Only mirrors tell the time

熬过了冗长的期末，迎来了疯狂的假期。游戏玩的天昏地暗，小说读的不分昼夜。

因为不用上课，时间模糊了起来。只有镜中几日没刮的胡茬在提醒着自己日子慢慢的一天天的过去。

我想，这辈子我是弄不明白为什么女生那么喜欢照镜子，喜欢看着自己一天一天的老去。

人，总是跟自己过不去。像是过生日— 一方面找人来庆祝自己老了一岁，一方面跟人抱怨时间的不公。

想到这里，忍不住引用那句经典台词，Hypocrite, thy name is human.

贴首我很喜欢的歌，希望你也一样喜欢。

There are three kinds of people

The infamous quote from my favourite "Team America"

"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! "

My interpretation: we all played one of the three roles once a while in our lives. Sometimes, you are too nice that people take advantages of you all the times. Then you become tougher and tougher. As time passing by, you are hard enough to poke others to get what you want. And somewhere in between those two phrases, you get so pissed off by others that you just want to shit everyone.

Sadly, I played a dick this earlier night, although I didn't mean to.

I'm sorry.

又一年

转眼一年。

人生，就在这一次次的转眼间流逝了。

一路上左顾又盼，期待着更好的前景。

却不知，等找到了，也结束了。

留下的，是对匆忙的无比惆怅。

在这一次的转眼间，我来马来西亚已经整整一年。

这一年不同于任何一年，它很精彩，也很无奈。
这一年也如同任何一年，它很兴奋，也很迷茫。

一年前我满怀希望，一年后我同样满怀希望。
一年前我充满激情，一年后我只剩颓然。

在寂寞中狂欢，在孤独中奋发，是我这一年的真实写照。

Friendship between sexes

Relationship with an opposite sex can be very tricky and even challenging sometimes. It is very hard to control the precise distance between you and this friend. Shouldn’t be too close, especially for a female to a male, for it has long been said that most males are very easily misled, taking minute signs and clues as suggestive signals. A female’s hospitality and kindness may wrongfully, and unfortunately, be taken as romantic cues, or even propositions. True, it is very sad to a female whose friendliness is mistaken as some sort of suggestions. But it is even sadder for a male to find out in the end that the euphoria is just an illusory dream.

Ok, then, let’s just keep distance from them to avoid this kind of unnecessary misunderstanding. But then, you might have even greater chance to become a real bitch (even if you are a guy) – who seems to perceive any opposite sex as a potential threat. This kind of person avoid to display any warmth towards those who are not “sexually desired” so to speak, to ensure no misunderstanding would ever happen. This kind of people is really pathetic and annoying – they reject any kindness from a sexually undesired person. But, hey, not everyone being kind to you wants to sleep with you, ok? You are strangling the goodness of others.

Thus you see how difficult this dilemma is: You are a heartbreaker if you are too friendly and you are a bitch if you are not friendly. And sometimes you swing between these two roles until you totally screw up all the relationship with others.

So what we should do?

Be careful with those who are only nice when they want to sleep with you. Be kind to those who are truly kind to you. Be intelligent to discern between them.

Weird Nightmare

I had this super-duper weird nightmare today.

In that dream, I was calling my neighbour (a girl) through a television (weird, right?).

Then through the TV I saw a man (her dad?) was being attacked by a zombie whose head had a scissors in it.

then the girl screamed super loud which turned his dad into a monster.

and then I saw the girl herself transformed into an afro-haired monsterlike ghost.

And she was about to crawl out of the TV!!!

then I wanted to scream but couldn't, and wanted to move, but couldn't either.

I was so struggling.

Then, thank god, I woke up....

with whole body aching...

Damn...

Imaginary conversation

Hi, you look pretty today.

Thanks.

You want some ice cream?

No. I’m not supposed to eat cold things these days.

Oh? What happened? You are not feeling alright?

…ask your mum.

My mum? Wait a second. What does my mum have anything to do with your discomfort?

Oh, for Christ sake, are you kidding me or something?

Hey, what’s happening?!

My period is coming! You idiot, that’s what happening!

Alright, alright, chill, ok? But still what’s your period have anything to do with my mum?

AAARRRRRRR. Your mum never told you females can’t eat anything cold during their period!?

Errr… I guess nope.

Well, now you’ve learnt that precious lesson!

Ok, ok. Urm, is there anything I can do to help it?

Help what? Help prevent me from having period?

Nope, help you get more comfortable while you are having period. But I suppose I can also help you what you suggested.

Oh really? That’s so thoughtful of you!

You know they say period is the lonely tears of the womb.

So what do you suggest? Let’s have sex and impregnate my womb so that it won’t weep?

And you can eat ice creams anytime you want.

Jesus Christ, will you stop it!

Alright, alright.