散落的记忆

又失眠了。

索性喝怀酒，让记忆带我回到从前，重温那些依稀的往事。

我想起两年前，马上要离开南非的情景。

约堡的天总是很蓝，一个月能晴二十八九天，从来没有阴天。

因为Monash建在郊区，视野很广阔。

我那时总是喜欢在黄昏前坐在窗边看云。

看夜色慢慢把一片片的云染黑，有如蘸了墨汁一般。

偶尔还能看到火烧云。

像小时在课本里学到的一样，晚霞把半个天空都映的红灿灿的，就好像是烧红的煤块。

出乎所有没去过南非的人的预料，南非一点都不热。

夏天在屋里都不用风扇的。

只要把窗户推开，就能享受到比空调还凉爽的阵阵清风。

到了晚上，盖上一条薄被子，不冷不热的，很是舒服。

南非的人民也很热情。

对面走过来，不管认不认识，都会微笑着问一句“what's up”.

不像在这里，很熟的同学见面也不过假假的笑一下，或是根本装做没看见。




两年前的今天，我正在为离开南非前收拾行李。

走的那天十分狼狈。

因为行李超重的原因，差一点就被留在机场了。

最后的交涉是我在起飞前五分钟，强行拉住 check-in 工作人员的手，泪汪汪的望着她，恳求了半天才放我走的。

飞机因为我晚飞了15分钟。

不过在十二个半小时飞抵香港的过程中，15分钟又算什么呢？




想起跟旅途有关的事情，我又记起那年在昆山工作，差一点过年没回去家。

腊月二十八去买火车票未果，最近还是在朋友的帮助下，买了一张软卧的火车票。

最后在大年三十的早上，到的家。

那年过年比较风光，当时在昆山给一家公司做网络维护赚了些小钱。

因为有多余的钱挥霍，那年过的特别开心。

记得初三那天，我在朋友家喝的大醉。

回家的路上，拉住两个站在小区路口抽烟，从小长大的朋友。

站在雪地中，跟他们胡吹了一通。

讲了一翻“天下熙熙，皆为利来，天下攘攘，皆为利往”的道理。

当时的我其实也就知其然，并不知其所以然。

经过这些年的颠沛流离，让我对这句十六字真言，有了一翻更深的体会。




酒怀里的酒快被我喝完了，我却还是一点都不困。

记得有一次，也是在南非，半夜喝红酒，听英文朗读版的老人与海。

听到“I went out too far”，时，眼泪止不住的流出来。

这何尝不是在说我？

虽然明明知道自已星盘上凯龙落九宫就意味着一个曲折漫长的求学路，也还是感到无尽的委屈。

这些年来的困苦有谁知？

这些年来的磨难又讲与谁听？

过去的，就让它，随风飘散吧。




回忆到此，我似乎是有了兴致，又到了一怀酒。

点根烟，让它和酒一起，麻醉我失落伤感的心灵。

没有出国求学经历的人，是永远无法明白生活在国外是多么的复杂。

面对着陌生的环境，陌生的人群，陌生的文化，是多么的孤独。

没人会理解你，没人会想去理解你。

特别是“中国”这个标签，像烙印般打在脸上。

几乎每个人都对你有偏见，有岐视。

我会讲英文，他们觉得奇怪。

我学习好，他们觉得奇怪。

不因为别的，只因为我来自中国。

这个连牛奶都无法让人放心的喝的国家。

每一个中国人，都背负着太多的生存压力。

这种令人对未来感到恐慌的压力是其它人永远无法理解的。




回忆的列车开始加速，带着我行驶过一幕幕往事。

伤心的，快乐的，哀愁的，痛快的，都化做一声叹息。

曾经对人讲过“经历过就是财富”。

但愿我若干年后，还会对人讲起同样的话，并坚信不疑。

Nightmare semester

Hope I will still be alive after this sememster

Past, Present, Future

I haven't touched my Tarot deck for years.

I used to write Tarot diary when I was in SA.

Things really change.

Few days ago I encountered a major problem in my life.

I tried alot ways figuring out what is wrong.

Unfortunately, I couldn't.

An idea just flashed in my mind: why don't I try the Tarot.

So I did, and that is the answer.

Three cards represents the past, the present and the future of my problem.

The meaning of the first card is quite pictorial (hey, I didn't cheat, it's really the card I randomly drew from the stuffled deck).

The second card did represent the present at that time.

I was judging the problem, and like the naked people waking from the coffins, things hiding in my problems were slowly digged out.

The last one, the future of the problem, seemingly a nice one, but it represented the choice I need to make at the times I was facing the problem.

Most of the Tarot websites or books suggest that "the Lover" card means you have to make a major choice which will affect the rest of your life.

And once you have made that choice, you life will never be the same again.

That's what I did today.

It's really a hard choice to make.

A very tough one.

I know it's very very hard for me as well for another person.

But I have to choose that way.

Things change.

My heart doesn't.

I'm sorry.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Don't mess up with Zohan.

I haven't watched a really comedy movie like this for quite long time.

Take my recommendation, and you won't regret hehe.

It made me laughing so hard,

hahahaha~~~~

血型漫画

（一）

（二）

This is Hell

As many of my dear classmates have pointed out that second year is so damn hard and some started refer HELP as HELL, which literally they are just one letter in difference.

This reminds me of my favourite talking show given by Rowan Atkinson, in which he played as the devil in Hell to give a “warm” welcome to newcomers.

This dramatic scene should be adapted by be HELP to give the second year students a whole new orientation.

Dr. Goh should be the host, of course, and he goes like one hand holding a cigarette and another hand holding the “Bible” – DSM-IV.

Then, Dr. Goh starts the speech with:

Hi, hello, it’s nice to see you all here.

As the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now.

This is HELL.

And I am the devil. Good afternoon.

You can call me Dr. Goh if you like.

...


Later in the Q&A session, it goes:

Are there any questions?

Yes.

No, I’m afraid we don’t have any breaks, urm if you read your Bible, you might have seen that it’s a damnation without relief.

Marital Counseling joke

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."